


Strong Chemistry

by allfireburns



Category: Sports Night
Genre: 5 Things, Alcohol, Alternate Reality, Angst, Drugs, M/M, POV Third Person, Self-Harm, Slash, Smoking, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-12-06
Updated: 2009-12-06
Packaged: 2017-10-04 05:24:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/allfireburns/pseuds/allfireburns
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Four addictions Dan Rydell never had, and one he does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strong Chemistry

**alcohol**  
It was funny, Dan thought, that Sam's death would push him to one of the things that had killed his brother. Or maybe it actually wasn't all that funny, and he was just drunk. Actually, he was fairly certain of that last part.

And maybe four years on, he should admit that maybe this had nothing to do with Sam's death, and maybe the reason he was sitting in a bar at two in the afternoon just because he didn't have class for another couple hours was something else altogether.

He frowned down at his beer bottle, twisting it slowly on the tabletop and watching the beads of condensation roll down and sit there in a little puddle on the table's surface. There was no _maybe_ about it, he decided. He knew the truth of the matter, knew with a certainty that this had nothing to do with Sam and his death – maybe it had in the beginning, but at this point, it had gone too far past that for him to justify it as such.

If he were being truthful with himself, he'd admit this was addiction, and he'd do something about it.

Dan sat there for a moment longer, still staring at the bottle. The little television up in the corner of the bar flickered, a bit of sound from it reaching Dan unheeded, the anchor whatever sports show was on speaking. "...with Casey McCall in..."

Dan decided he'd never been really truthful with himself, there was no reason to start now, and downed the rest of the bottle.

**nicotine**  
"Hey, Danny!" Casey said, bounding into the office they shared, and Dan raised an eyebrow at him questioningly. He'd seen him coming from the studio (and who made an office with glass walls anyway?), so at least he wasn't surprised by his arrival – back in Dallas, Casey had always managed to sneak up on him and scare the hell out of him, not even intentionally. "Dana says we should get dressed for the show."

Dan frowned and pulled the cigarette from his mouth to ask calmly, "It's forty-five minutes to the show and she wants us to get dressed?"

"Will you not do that in our office?" Casey asked, stepping forward to grab the cigarette from Dan's hand and put it out on the ashtray on his desk.

Dan shrugged. "It's either this, or freaking out like Dana is."

Casey pulled a chair up in front of Dan's desk, leaning forward toward him. "You should be freaking out. It's what everyone's doing over our first broadcast – you ought to be part of the general panic."

Dan paused, and then reached into his desk, pulled out another cigarette and lit it, ignoring Casey's frustrated look. "Someone has to stay calm here."

Rolling his eyes, Casey sat back in his chair, "You're twenty-seven years old, Danny, and I swear, you act like you're the oldest of all of us." Getting only a smile from Dan in response, he asked after a second, "Shouldn't you have your own office anyway? This is national television and the two of us have to share an office?"

Somehow, Dan managed to hold back a smile and replied straight-faced, "I think Dana might have arranged it this way, actually."

"Dana?" Casey frowned, at him. "Why would she do that?"

Dan leaned back in his chair, taking a drag on his cigarette as he did. "I think she found it easier to keep an eye on the two of us this way."

**rebecca wells**  
"Are you upset?"

"No," Dan sighed, not quite meeting her eyes. He was usually a good liar, but it was hard with Rebecca – she had powers. All she had to do was kiss him and...

"Really?"

"Yes." He fought to keep his tone level, calm. Rebecca wasn't divorced, just separated, Steve Sisco had been in her office on a Saturday and he was calm and in control, really.

Rebecca stood up on her tiptoes to give him a quick kiss, and then not so quick, and Dan knew he shouldn't, because she was _married_ (because separated was not the same as divorced, separated meant still married and thinking about staying that way), because she'd lied to him, but he leaned in to her kiss a little, his hand reaching out to grip her arm lightly, and the kiss deepened by the barest fraction, his tongue just slipping past her lips before she rocked back on her heels and broke the kiss.

"Yes, I'm upset," he sighed. "What am I supposed to be, Rebecca? I care about you very much, and it kills me to know you're still with Steve Sisco. I know what he's like. You know what he's like, and you know he isn't going to change." His hand was still on her arm, and he didn't think he was likely to move it any time soon.

"I'm sorry I lied to you," Rebecca said quietly, frowning up at him quietly, biting her lip so he couldn't be mad at her, not when she looked like that. "If it's any consolation, I never felt like I was lying. I felt like I was withholding the truth."

"Dan?" Casey said quietly from the doorway of the editing room, and Dan immediately let go of Rebecca's arm and let his hand fall. Casey gave Rebecca a quick smile before glancing back to Dan. "Um. You're on the air in sixty seconds, so..."

Dan nodded shortly, and waited for Casey to leave. Once he had, he looked to Rebecca. "Stay to watch the show."

"Dan, I..."

"Stay," he said quietly, with a slightly pleading look, and after a couple of seconds, she nodded.

**cutting**  
It was stupid and unprofessional, and he never should have said it, shouldn't have let the argument get to the point where it showed on the air, but one said it couldn't be taken back and the damage was done. It was there in the stiffness on the air, the silence when they were both in their office, the way Casey never laughed at Dan's jokes anymore and Dan almost never made them, certainly not just for Casey, the way he used to. It wasn't all his fault – even he knew that, though Abby seemed to think she had to remind him every time he saw her – but even if he hadn't created it, he'd solidified it and brought it out where everyone knew about it.

He knew there had to be a reason he hadn't been looking forward to draft day.

Casey looked up when Dan got to his feet, but didn't say anything, and after a moment looked back down at whatever he was writing. It didn't matter that he didn't speak – Dan could guess at how the conversation would go anyway. _"Where are you going?" "To see my therapist." "Do you have an appointment?" "No, I'm just gonna walk in there and expect her to drop everything for me... Yes, I have an appointment." "Okay." "See you." "Yeah."_

Half an hour later, he sat in Abby's office, meeting her clear gaze steadily, waiting for her to ask a question. But it wasn't questions he wanted, it was answers. _Tell me what's wrong with me, tell me how to fix it, tell me **now**._

And even if he knew she didn't _have_ the answers, he kept hoping anyway.

Abby's eyes flickered down to his arms, bared the way they only ever were in front of her, and the pattern of parallel scars along both of them. "Why do you feel you need to do it?"

"I don't know," he said softly, not entirely truthful.

"Are you going to do it again?"

"I wouldn't bet against it."

**casey mccall**  
"We still have our show."

"Yes," Casey said, grinning, as he stepped away from the anchor desk. It was the brightest, most _real_ smile Dan had seen from him in ages, and he'd missed it.

"We still have our show, and we don't have to go to California."

Casey turned to look at Dan as they walked to their office, and Dan considered warning him he might trip over something like that but decided against it – if nothing else, it would be funny watching Casey trip over a trash can or a chair or his own feet. "You wanted to go to California. They have Laker girls."

"Yeah, well," Dan answered with a shrug. "They don't have you."

Casey stopped dead there in the middle of the office, and it was Dan who almost tripped over his own feet, stumbling into Casey, stepping back quickly to find Casey staring down at him in almost-shock. "What?"

"I didn't want to go to California," Dan said quietly, somehow managing to keep his voice steady. "Because you're not there."

"Oh," Casey said quietly, and it startled Dan a little that he sounded so surprised, when he'd been certain that everyone – even Casey – would have seen it years ago. The room was silent, everyone else still in the control room or the studio, and the main office completely still but for Dan and Casey, and Dan was standing so close to him, could have easily reached out and touched him. Could have kissed him, and the look Casey was giving him was something Dan couldn't ever remember seeing before...

Natalie and Dana burst through the doors from the control room, shortly followed by Kim and Elliot. Dan took a step back and put his hand on Casey's shoulder, pushing him toward their office. "Come on, let's get changed and go do something."

"Like what?"

"Doesn't matter. Anything." He smiled hopefully at Casey, and was relieved to see Casey smiling back, to see Casey happy, for the first time in who knew how long, just because they'd done a good show, and because they still had their show. Things were gonna be okay.


End file.
